Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
