the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
