ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
