His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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