I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
