I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
