ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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