I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
