You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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