I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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