she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize