Just cropdusted the office
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
