I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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