You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
