And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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