everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize