So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
