How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
