Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish there were birth control emojis
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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