You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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