I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
She has the best kind of daddy issues
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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