yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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