Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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