don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
