i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
