So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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