Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
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