I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Tornado booty call.. dedication
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
