I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
