The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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