Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I think I just sharted jello shots
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize