I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
