is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
you have to choose: penises or morals?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Randomize
