For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize