We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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