i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
