I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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