If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
