Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
