just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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