ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize