I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
i out mim tonsoeep
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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