Ketchup is God's man juice
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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