apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
