pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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