puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize