The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Randomize
