yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
