If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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