kristin has been a bad kristin
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
