i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize