ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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