Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Randomize
