Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
