Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
