3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
