The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
