I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
