Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
