fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
