So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
